Kevin's Toy

Ok, I admit that I feel lonely and I need to get fucked. I haven't had sex for I don't know how long...The thing is I would prefer to fancy a lot before any kind of action. I went to see a doctor today, and to my surprise, he is so cute and sexy, not like old gross docs. After the examination, I almost asked him out on a date, but I knew I could not, for I don't even know his sexual preference. I did not want to sound so desperate and bold. So we made an appointment in 2 weeks, and I hope to chat more with him next time. :)

Guys with some talent can really turn me on easily! Jeeez...I love sexy doctors!!

I cannot believe Shanghai is getting hot so fast, and everything is like melting when you walk out of the room. It was said it's going to rain, and I was expecting the weather could be slightly cooler. But it's still hot and humid. Shanghai weather sucks.

I have been busy with work lately, and I still got messages from my ex. I don't know why he wants to meet me, and I hate the fact that he left me when I was in love with him. I was stupid, I guess. I don't really know if I will see him, I guess mostly not. I am not interested in all these things-it's quite tiring and boring.

I don't have any plans lately except that I need to do my job for the last period of time. I wish I could have to travel a little bit before my new start.

I don't understand why he's been texting me and talking to me all of a sudden lately. It's weird. After he decided he needed his time alone, I have been through a lot. Finally, I feel better about myself, and then he showed up again. It's not fair. I was trying so hard to get over this failed relationship, and I thought I recovered in the end. I am so disturbed by his stupid messages and it's just not right. He shouldn't have left me at the first place, and I hate going back to old places once I made up my mind. I don't know what he wants. Maybe he wants to have more fun before he goes to London for his sex trip, or maybe he wants to break my heart again before he leaves in July; or maybe he wants to have someone wait for his return in September. Whatever the reason, I just don't have the urge or the passion for it now. There are much better things to do in my life currently, and I won't allow anything to ruin it. Yes, he needed time to figure out things, but what about me? Does he ever think of me? He is just selfish and cannot commit to a relationship. I am sick of these people. I would rather have nothing than have a liar in my life, or I would rather be a whore myself than be a liar to others. If you cannot commit to what you promised, then you need to vanish! I hate liars.

It's rainy here in Shanghai today, and it's not bad. I cannot imagine how hot it was last summer, but it seems so far Shanghai has not been turned on.